Very insightful post-- it resonates for both my wife and I who recently moved from the US to Italy. It's been a challenge to understand that many friends who have never visited the new country in which you're living, or maybe have never travelled much at all, simply can't envision or even try to imagine what your new life might be like. They're happy to chat about the things you always chatted about before, but they ask remarkably few questions about the life you're living now. It can be tough to preserve a friendship when you're no longer sharing common ground.
Thank you! My heart has been aching as I’ve been abroad for 6 months and now I never hear about what’s happening in my friend’s lives. I share, but they don’t and sometimes I feel like I share too much. Your article really helped. I really appreciate you sharing your heart and experience. 🫶🏼
Yes, your comments are exactly what we've lived! However, a truly great friend is worth keeping, so your idea of the 'catch up' note really works. I've kept a friend for decades and we always keep in touch with notes and calls as these keep the friendship alive.
So true. I feel I have lots of acquaintances who absolutely would and have step up in a deep way whenever we need because as immigrants we become each other’s support systems. And yet, on the other hand they don’t know me deeply and vice versa and so the friendship also seems fleeting and more shallow at times. It’s a weird contradiction.
This totally resonates! When I lived in London it was a continuous turnaround of friends as many people move somewhere else. Also, locals may not invest in a friendship with expats if they know they'll move to another country.
I just moved yesterday so this is very timely, thank you!
Very insightful post-- it resonates for both my wife and I who recently moved from the US to Italy. It's been a challenge to understand that many friends who have never visited the new country in which you're living, or maybe have never travelled much at all, simply can't envision or even try to imagine what your new life might be like. They're happy to chat about the things you always chatted about before, but they ask remarkably few questions about the life you're living now. It can be tough to preserve a friendship when you're no longer sharing common ground.
Thank you! My heart has been aching as I’ve been abroad for 6 months and now I never hear about what’s happening in my friend’s lives. I share, but they don’t and sometimes I feel like I share too much. Your article really helped. I really appreciate you sharing your heart and experience. 🫶🏼
Yes, your comments are exactly what we've lived! However, a truly great friend is worth keeping, so your idea of the 'catch up' note really works. I've kept a friend for decades and we always keep in touch with notes and calls as these keep the friendship alive.
So true. I feel I have lots of acquaintances who absolutely would and have step up in a deep way whenever we need because as immigrants we become each other’s support systems. And yet, on the other hand they don’t know me deeply and vice versa and so the friendship also seems fleeting and more shallow at times. It’s a weird contradiction.
Yes, to all of it.
I've lived abroad for over 30 years. It's a lonely experience at times - but it is incredibly grounding.
This totally resonates! When I lived in London it was a continuous turnaround of friends as many people move somewhere else. Also, locals may not invest in a friendship with expats if they know they'll move to another country.
Great advice and reflections.